Singleness should not be a stigma

Today an event happened that made me realise I am happy in my singleness, the truth is I was chatting with a man on line on Facebook and it got to the stage of wanting to know about me. I responded not having marriage at the back of mind really. But he sent some messages I didn’t like and I made my stand known. I won’t bend over just to please. It turns out he was married as he said he wished he could marry me. I was happy with myself that I didn’t think husband at all , all through our conversations. It made me feel better that I am more matured and didn’t fall prey to a married man. This situations of Singleness gets a lot women desperate and they become victims. So I believe being happy with myself is the best option till someone comes along. But the happiness that radiates from within is the best kind. I am happy to be me. And I am proud of the woman I have become . It’s been a long journey. But I know it will end in praise. So I am single with no hassle. Self love all the way.

I love my life and would change nothing about it. Truth most societies see singleness as stigma. That women who aren’t married are not really complete. But despite this embracing your inner self is the best gift to you ever. Marriage can happen. But I won’t force it. Or become overtly desperate about it. Everything happens in good time.


Do not go where the path leads

Go instead where there is no path

And leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember when life’s

Path is steep to

Keep your mind even


Self pity

I have never seen a

Wild thing feel sorry itself

A small bird will drop dead

Frozen from a bough

Without ever having feeling sorry

For itself

D. H Lawrence

No one saves us

But ourselves

No one can

And no one may

We ourselves must walk

The path


The ego rises from the self

Search the source of the ego

And the self is revealed

That alone remains

The universe has only expanded self

It is not different from the self.

Ramana Maharishi

Do not be a victim

To self pity

Self pity is at once

The beginning and the end

Of life’s uselessness

Sri Chinmoy

Forgiveness Ephesians 4:32

To forgive and forget is not in the Bible. The 😈 devil is adding something here to make it burdensome. God only tells us to forgive because God in Christ has forgiven us a debt we cannot pay when we do the same we do ourselves a favour because harbouring bitterness and unforgivness can sometimes destroy your health.

So just forgive and let God take care of the rest. When you really forgive sometimes He makes us forget. But sometimes you still remember the incident because it was a major thing in your life, yet when you look back at it the pain is no longer there.

The sting is gone and you are not bitter. Gen 50: 15-21. When you forgive by faith not by your feelings we walk by faith not by feeling. 2 Corinthians 5: 7

Is the battle ever won indeed?

Hmmmmm…… With a deep and heavy sigh I look back at my life since I began my battle to overcome porn addiction. It has been a journey that has been trying and at some point I keep regressing and then all of a sudden I fall like lead sinking into the ocean’s depth. Only start climbing the ladder again and fall. I have tried several times and it will seem like I am winning only to find myself back at one again. I need help really and I need genuine advice

Not just about winning the battle but the war as well until I win the war I realise I can’t be totally free. Breaking free is never easy. Not giving up equals believing I can win the war and not just the battle. Please put me in your prayers . I know it’s a lot to ask but I really am at my wit’s end. I genuinely want to be free. As this addiction is hindering me from attaining my full potential. The war is not over but it’s close to been won

Indeed spiritually I have realised I am now weak, I need to get back to my fighting form and be agile and gallant. I can’t do it alone. I need God’s help.


Most times we forget who we really are and begin to chase mere shadows. We grasp at straws instead dealing with the real world. We sometimes, seem lost even when we are in a crowd. It looks like we are living in a bubble and we don’t want to face reality.

But when reality slaps with a rude awakening. We then realise that we have been building castles in the air. Catching the wind is more apt to describe the feeling .

So when it seems like you are drowning , and there is no life line to hold on to. Draw strength from inner self. It can never stir you wrong.

Believe in God, the author and finisher of our faith Jesus Christ. We have been bought with a price therefore, don’t forget who you are.

You are priceless jewel of inesteemable value.

What is your Fighting Strategy?

Just as there came a point in David’s life when he had to confront Goliath, you will also need to confront your Goliath . Your running away from your Goliath spells your doom. Some think that Christan life is just a bed of roses . This is NOT true, the earlier we know, the Better we prepare and acquire necessary skills to war the good fight of faith. The kingdom of God is only for the violent as Jesus rightly put it Matthew 11: 12. We must be ready to war. We are in a time when it is difficult to profess our faith. To stand upright requires so much battle. Go with the mindset that the battle is not yours and the owner of the battle cannot be defeated.

Bad Friends Corrupt Manners

One thing that could have helped Amnon when those evil thoughts came was a good friend but he had none. Perhaps if Amnon had a good friend , he would not have ended in ruin. It is important that a man surrounds himself with good counsels. Some times it might difficult to stop these thoughts, but every thought will always require a corresponding action. The devil will always bring suggestions but it is your responsibility to say NO. Amnon’s plan was master minded by his friend. Keeping company with a fool will always end in harm and destruction. Choose good friends that will impact your faith , friends that will encourage you to make right decisions.

Who is your adviser?

My case study is drawn from the Bible. Amnon and Tamar. It’s a very popular chapter. What lessons can we learn.

2 Samuel 13:1,5
[1]Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her.
[5]Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.'”

2 Samuel 13:1,5-6,11
[1]Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her.
[5]Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.'”
[6]So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
[11]When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”

Amnon’s list for his Tamar was great and Jonadab only gave him an idea and he took. If he had warned Amnon against it , the story would have been different. Amnon raped his sister and his supposed love turned to a bitter hate.

Who adviser is matters a lot as it will determine the speed with which matters would be resolved amicably. Amnon paid with his life for defiling Tamar. Don’t some your so called advicers lead you to your grave. Stolen waters are not always sweet it can be bitter indeed. Let’s be weary of those we seek advice from and try to way the pros and cons.

Seasons of life

According to the book of the preacher i.e Ecclesiastes it says there is a time and a season for everything under the sun. Ecclesiastes 3 1-8 gives a good example of these seasons:

To everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven

A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted

A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up

A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance

A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing

A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away

A time to tend and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak

A time to love and a time to hate; a time of and a time of peace.